Jan 16 2008
Addictshun-I’m not a bad guy… I have an “Illness”
My story is a story of the typical failures and obstacles encountered by anyone who has encountered the disease of addiction, whether personally or via a loved one. I want to make changes for people who are frustrated as I am about the ramifications of this illness. Well, standing alone I do not know where to begin to initiate these changes. I have been sober for eight months now and face every day the remeberance of why I have relapsed so many times. Society only sees the mistakes that I accrued because of the ravenous appetite of the beast called addiction. I am fed up and I want a fair chance. The mistakes I’ve made (ie. the criminal activity that I engaged in) are directly proportional and correlated with the severity of my illness. Does this mean that I do not want to accept responsibility for my actions, certainly not. However, try getting a foot up when your illness has placed you in a social predicament mirroring the one I reside in. People are often forgiving of the fact that you have a chemical dependency problem, but not so forgiving of the decisions that were made while a person is in active addiction. I call it “addict-shun”. I am not the monster that my record indicates. No one pays any attention to my accomplishments such as the fact that I attended college for five years and obtained a Bachelors degree as a registered nurse. Graduating with a 3.0 GPA while working fulltime and being married with a family. It is only noticed that I tossed all of this aside because “I wanted to have fun and do drugs”…well it was not fun. A perspective point of how insane it is to even contemplate disregarding everything you love and have worked hard for should give anyone a pretty good estimation of how “cunning, baffeling, and powerful” chemical dependency really is. I want to help people like myself get integrated back into society without all of the preconcieved notions and obstacles addicts currently face. I need others peoples ideas and comments.
4 Responses to “Addictshun-I’m not a bad guy… I have an “Illness””
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Damn…..Jeremy, I sent a long comment having plenty knowledge about the overwhelming problems with trying to live sober….you got almost as much time sober as I had on three different occassions….wityh absolutely no luck…..I will tell you this though…..I learned so much about myself and about others (I was always the only perrson on earth) when I stayed sober for 3 seperate 10 month period….,I am in N.O. and someone that must love you sent my exwife your comments on the blog….you see my remarried exwife has had to deal with me and my addiction (and the affect it had on my two beautiful sons 21 - 25)….she thinks I have something to offer you if no0t positive then because I have never had luck with continued sobriety….I can guarantee you this, your story can’t touch mine…I too have plenty of education (ADS in Architecture, BS in Construction , LSU - 2 national scholarships) and although I have alway used drugs and drank….it got real bad when I lost my business and my wife and kids left me….since I just unsuccessfully wrote three pages you didfn’t get, I don’t feel like repesting it….I have so many freind with 20 years sobriety I can deffineitely get you some help….they got it right and know what it takes to beat this monster……..;.land that is the only way you wilol succeed…l.with another addict helping anotherr addict…I guarentee tha’s the only way they got so far…..you can help them stay sober, and I think that maybe, just maybe they can help you…..if you want tyo contact me, email me at pchaplain@gmail.com…..simpler than the blog….at least for me….I am sure you will get plenty of comments on the blog, but if yuou want real help….I know who to sende you too….and you wilol like these guys….they constantly help guys, that’s how it works….. I’ll give you my phone number if you email me..l..I can only show you how not to do it, thse people are the winners and they would love to try to help…..I will say though, that if yop0u want to really learn how to live sober, you have to hang with the winners…..t6he guys and girls that have leasrned how to do it and depend on their sobriety by showing people just loike you…………I hope you write…..Good luck either way…..buty ifg yuou don’t write me ,I will be real specific about my life on the blog….hell, it will scare you to death………….Patrick
pchaplain@gmail.com
thanks for your comment
Good to see you getting back on your feet–or trying, at least. I know it must be hard when society won’t give you a break. But I’m glad you’re fighting. I don’t have any ideas for you, but if I think of anything, I will let you know. (your cousin)
Jeremy,
It takes determination and willpower to get over all the aspects of having been a social drop out.
At this time in your rehabilitation it would be easy to say screw it and relapse back to your old ways but consider not the past but the future.
I look at you and see an intelligent guy who made some poor decisions in the past, however the past is unchangable it’s the future and what you do with your life from this day forward thats the important thing.
You’ve taken the first steps in getting your life on track, knowing you had a problem and understanding the challanges you would be faced with.
Draw your strength from your family they have loved you through good times and bad and will do anything to help.
I can’t tell you how proud I am to know you as a person and know if you set your mind to it there is nothing you can’t do.
YOU CAN DO THIS!
Let’s go fish’in (My fish WILL be bigger than yours)
Bill